Avoiding mistakes is useless. Making them is human. Owning mistakes and learning from them is where leadership begins.

As we wrap up one year and head into a new one, I think it’s healthy to reflect on what was tried, what failed and what succeeded over the last 11 to 12 months. It may be a factor of age, but I’ve gotten to a place where one of my biggest fears is not trying enough big ideas to make a difference, in settling for less than what was possible and becoming comfortable with what is versus what could be.

Fear of failure is the term we hear most often. I’ve seen it in brand managers afraid to screw up a brand assignment they just took over. I’ve seen it in corporate executives who were living examples of the Peter Principle who, instead of remaining open to help from others and being vulnerable, fell prey to the idea that they always had to have the winning idea. I’ve seen it in senior managers who killed ideas because they were more disruptive than the manager was willing to fight for, even though disruption was desperately needed to keep the brand alive. When this happens teams eventually fail because the ideas just get smaller and smaller—because small ideas are easier to protect.

This is also a problem with people who haven’t been allowed to fail along the way. The kid who must get straight A’s, who can’t miss a note on an instrument or make a bad throw on a ball field may be doomed to a life of pursuing a goal that doesn’t exist.

Perfectionism Is An Issue

Better by Mistake author Alina Tugend, put it this way: “Experiments showed that those who are always scared to make mistakes—ultra-perfectionists, they are called—perform worse in writing tasks than those who aren’t as worried about being flawless. Experts theorize “superperfectionists” are afraid to practice writing, because to practice means to make mistakes. More importantly, they fear receiving any kind of negative feedback, so they don’t learn where they went wrong and how to get better.”

You Can’t Win Them All

Once you accept that you are going to fail, eventually, you free your mind up to do bigger things. It’s the act of trying that makes the difference. Relax. It’s not like you avoiding mistakes is going to make things any better or worse. Peter Drucker once said, “People who don’t take risks generally make about two big mistakes a year. People who do take risks generally make about two big mistakes a year.” If you accept that you’re probably going to make two big mistakes a year, wouldn’t you rather make those two mistakes on something that has a chance to change your world? Or change the world?

There are stories out there of people who made it big without putting themselves or their ideas on the line. Personally, I think most of these are just scrubbed to remove any blemishes in the pursuit of perfection. When you aim high you may achieve great things. But even if you don’t win, you find out what you’re made of when you get back up again.

Consider these examples:

• Triathlete Mark Allen, in the seven years before he won his first of six Ironman Championships in Kona, Hawaii, did not finish, placed 3rd, placed 5th, did not compete, placed 2nd, placed 2nd, and placed 5th.

• John William Lindsey, who played first base for the LA Dodgers, spent 16 years in the minor leagues, the most by any player, before being called up to the Bigs.

• Post-it Notes came to life when Art Fry heard of colleague Spencer Silver’s low-tack adhesive and figured he could use it to help him mark his place in his hymnals because his bookmarks always fell out. It only took 10 years or more for the formula to find a home.

• The inventors of Bubble Wrap started out with a concept for wallpaper, then moved to greenhouses, then to packaging.

• Silly Putty was discovered during the pursuit of a rubber substitute for World War II. Though it wasn’t suitable for tires or boots, it was suitable for fun. Okay, this one probably shouldn’t go in the great examples category, but I like Silly Putty, so here it stays.

So You Blew It. So What?

I’ve been in bands and played guitar and sung on stage for years. One of my worst moments became one of my favorite memories. Standing in front of an audience of a couple hundred people in a church in Mississippi one night I played and sang a song I had performed dozens of times. Yet on this night as I finished the chorus and started the second verse I couldn’t for the life of me remember the words. Not one. And since I didn’t have lyrics with me I was stuck.

Rather than try to fake my way through the rest of the song and limp back to my seat I stopped, kind of chuckled nervously and said, “Have you ever had one of those moments when you forget a song? Yeah, me too. But I’m not leaving this stage until I finish a song for you, so if it’s okay with you I’d like to try a different option.” The audience laughed with me, which helped calm my nerves and ease the uncomfortable silence in the room. I sang my second song without any issues and got a standing ovation at the end. I figured I had just survived the worst nightmare a performer could have on stage. And I haven’t forgotten the lyrics in a song on stage since that night some 25 years ago.

Failure Has its Benefits

Evolutionary psychologist Nigel Barber, Ph.D., wrote, “People who fail repeatedly develop persistence in the face of difficulties … only people with extensive histories of failure could survive the difficulties that (some) individuals endured. Such dogged persistence is not a universal trait, of course.

With success, people keep on doing the same thing. When they fail, they are forced to adapt and change. That is not just a human characteristic but constitutes a basic feature of how the mammalian brain works.

If a lab rat no longer gets rewarded for pressing a lever that had yielded food pellets before, it gets visibly upset. As its frantic efforts fail, it resorts to all manner of strange, or novel, reactions from grooming itself to biting the lever, or leaping into the air. It is learning that the world has changed and its brain is getting rewired, so to speak.

When one combines emotionalism with originality, that is fairly close to what most people think of as artistic creativity. Artists are not necessarily frustrated people but tend to be dissatisfied with what they have accomplished previously and try to do something better, or something new.

The magical power of failure is not restricted to the arts, or to political leadership. It applies to all fields of human endeavor, including the crass activity of financial money grubbing. Anyone who bought Apple stock over most of the past decade made wads of money but learned nothing. Those who bought at the peak and lost 40 percent of their stake are still scratching their heads. Like the rat in the experiment, they are learning something.”

Failure Helps:

1. Discover what didn’t work

2. Fuel your creativity (I won’t compare you to the lab rat example above)

3. Inspire new energy

4. Warn you off of a dangerous approach further down that path

5. Uncover your own strengths

6. Humble the bold

Five Tips for Making Better Mistakes

1. Start with the idea that most people truly want you to succeed, so they want to support you versus try to break you down. The mind space you use to worry about what’s chasing you could be better spent looking forward and considering options. If you fail, those same people want you to get back up and win.

2. Surround yourself with people who embrace the chaos, accept that mistakes will happen and know the team will grow as a result. Building a healthy team culture enables you to keep the right kind of positive mindset you’ll need to try, fail, pick yourself up and try again. And again. And again.

3. Consider both sides of the results of your efforts. Life is rarely lived in the extremes, so the goods may not be as good as you dream and the bads are rarely as dismal as you fear. Unless you’re Nik Wallenda and walking tightropes between high-rise office buildings, failure will probably not be life threatening. And as long as you’re alive, you can try again.

4. Live and learn. Failure is rich in information, which you need so you can build your way to success. Stay open to the data, learn from your stumbles and keep moving.

5. Share your stories. The school of hard knocks is a tough way to learn, but necessary on the way to greatness. Learning principles would seem to indicate that you will get more out of your experiences, both good and bad, if you will teach others the lessons you learn. Your students will benefit as well.

Embrace your blunders. Learn to love them, then move on.

Now get out there and try. I kind of hope you fail, just a bit, so you can go on to do something amazing.